i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
