i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
