You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
