i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Farmville is her only friend.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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