Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize