Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
