I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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