Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize