literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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