It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
