Whoa Z and x make the same sound
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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