Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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