I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
