Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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