He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
