i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
