It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Randomize
