everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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