i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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