kristin has been a bad kristin
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize
