Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
His hands were made for my vagina.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Randomize
