Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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