i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
