That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
