dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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