wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
