Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
