I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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