she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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