i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
If that was your dad, he is hot
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize