Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
