im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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