i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
