My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm getting married
To pizza
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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