im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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