the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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