Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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