got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
