been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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