you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
