After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
