gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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