There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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