Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Randomize
