i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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