I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
