I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
