I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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