dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
