This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize