Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
