Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
