Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Randomize
