So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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