i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
