Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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