I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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