I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
